I do not appreciate my husband enough. In fact, I am guilty of getting caught up in my own self-absorption, my own needs, wants, and wishes. I get caught up in the day-to-day grind of what needs to be accomplished, should have been done by now, or the my-day-was-not-all-roses; and that is where my energy focuses: on me. So, I challenged myself to give seven days of compliments to my husband, and I challenge you to do the same for your husband, wife, spouse, significant other, girlfriend, or boyfriend. And as a confession, I did not successfully complete this challenge at my first attempt. I gave myself permission to have a re-do.
Here are some ideas to get your brain flowing…everyone loves a sincere and specific compliment:
- Thanks for letting me choose the restaurant tonight. I have been craving that peanut butter pie all week.
- I love the way you helped out with bedtime last night. I appreciate you.
- Thanks for getting the kids started on morning routine today so that I could catch an extra five minutes of sleep. It was wonderful.
- I appreciate you taking the dog for a walk tonight. Rufus was really wound up and needed that exercise.
- You look handsome. That is a great color on you.
- I can tell you had a consuming day at work. Thank you for working so hard for our family.
- Thank you for taking the garbage out.
- Thank you for jumping in to help with the kids after work. I was not having luck getting dinner prepared with this little one’s needs.
- I love it when you make tacos! You know just the right amount of seasoning and spice to use.
How will you deliver your compliment? face to face, on a sticky note left on the bathroom mirror or on his/her steering wheel, in a text message, in an email, first thing in the morning when enjoying coffee together, last thing at night when you are headed to bed, handwritten on a card tucked in his/her suitcase, written in lipstick on the mirror, left in a voice mail to hear after a meeting, hand delivered note to his/her place of work….you choose! Any way is the right way.
When I wrote out this blog post in my head, I thought, “Oooh, I should share what the results were from giving these seven days of compliments” thinking quickly that it would be something like “my husband then showered me with compliments” or “my husband thanked me“. Hmmm, well, thankfully along with that thought process, a different message entered my head: It’s not about me. This challenge of giving compliments or showing gratitude is not about what I will get in return. It is about recognizing the good my husband does and then saying it out loud to let him know that I do indeed see the good. It is about pushing the negative turmoil away and making a worthy effort to let the light of good in.